ID CRISIS--FOUR

ID CRISIS – IV

By A.V.Dhanushkodi

No, it is not what you imagine it to be.  It is not the profound soul searching questions who am I, what am I, and where am I?  I am fully aware of who I am, what I am, and where I am.  My crisis is a very simple middle-class crisis.  It is just a question of others not knowing who I am, what I am, and where I am.  I think you are still not sure what I am talking about.  Let me explain with am example.

It was a sunny morning in February, one of the two pleasant months in a year in Chennai.  I felt like taking a walk on Elliot’s beach, instead of the usual quiet roads of Kalakshetra Colony. 

I was enjoying the walk on the walkers’ pavement, despite the unpleasant density of other walkers.  I could not wish them away anyway, so I took it easy.  As I was enjoying the cool morning air, I saw someone staring at me while walking towards me, in the opposite direction.  I did not throw more than a fleeting glance at him and walked on. 

I finished my first lap from one end of the pavement to the other and took a U-turn to do a second lap.  Midway along the second lap, I saw him walking towards me.  When he saw me at a distance, he stopped and continued to stare at me.  I could not help but fix my gaze on him, when his face began to brighten noticeably.  When I was within touching distance from him, he burst out with widespread arms, “DHANUSHKODI!” 

The sheer force of his outburst knocked me out first.  Secondly, I was thrilled that, at last, here was someone who recognized me as me. 

Unfortunately, I could not recognize him even remotely.  His face was not even faintly familiar. 

Before I could decide on the appropriate mode of action, rather reaction, he enveloped me in a mighty bear hug; mind you he was tall and awesomely muscular like the RAW wrestlers of the ESPN Sports Channel. 

“How are you Dhanushkodi!  Such a long, long time, isn’t it?”  On top of the mountain of muscles, he had a booming voice to boot.

“Yes, yes, it is a long time,” I had to agree, at a loss for anything else to say.  My mind was frantically racing backwards, to pull him out of the past.

“Remember how we used to fight in the canteen every day, and you used to beat me up blue and black every time?” he asked with a wide grin and glowing eyes.

My God, was he the canteen cook?  But which canteen?  School or college? “Yes, yes,” I agreed.  I knew not what else to say, for I had always been a pacifist from birth,  that I had never raised a finger against anybody, not to speak of our canteen cooks, school or college, although they eminently deserved the black and blue treatment.

“And remember, how I used to cry out vengefully, “De Kodi, I will not forget you!  I will wait for the day when I will beat you blue and black.  That will be the end of you, Kodi!”  Kodi in Tamil means The End.  “But you used to dismiss me with a disdainful gesture of your left hand, remember?”

I did not remember, but I felt terrified.  He had not loosened his grip on me.  Is this the endgame?

“Do you know, from that day on I have been sweating it out in the gym every day, to this day, and you see the result.”  He flexed his right arm and I could see the awesome bulge of the bicep.   “And I was praying to God, I should find you.”

The air was cool, but I began to sweat.  “Wait, wait a minute,” I stammered, “There is some awful mistake.  I am not Dhanushkodi,” I asserted vehemently in desperation.

“You are not?  Why then did you answer my call?” He seemed to have a point there. 

I did some quick thinking.  “Look, Dhanushkodi is my father’s name.  My name is Vedanarayanamurthy.  That is the V, one of my two initials,” I pleaded. 

“Exactly!” he exclaimed with glee, “and the first initial A, stands for Arcot, right?”

“No, wrong,” I denied emphatically, although he was absolutely right!  “A for Apple,” I blathered. “No, I mean A stands for Athiveeraramapandiyanpattinam” I blurted, absolutely sure no such horrible tongue-twister could exist anywhere on the face of the earth.

“Exactly!” he exclaimed again with some more glee.  “There!  I trapped you! That was exactly where we studied in the Board High School.  Don’t you remember, everyone used to call us identical twins,  because my name is also A.V. Dhanushkodi: Athiveeraramapandiyanpattinam Vedanarayanamurthy Dhanushkodi. Now do you understand why I could not forget you?.”

My brain was about to explode.  I had to do something before I went mad.  I fainted. 

A.V. Dhanushkodi

June 25, 2011